When one middle schooler’s overthinking says so much
“Time passes very quickly. It’s midterm season soon, I already began nervously preparing for the test, I must begin working harder, because if I don’t work hard and review well, then my grades will not go up, and I will be scolded by my parents, and if I get scolded by my parents then I will lose self-confidence, if I lose self-confidence then I will not finish my studies, if I do not finish my studies then I will not graduate [from university], if I can’t graduate from university then I will not find a good job, if I don’t find a good job then I won’t be able to make money, if I don’t make money then I can’t pay taxes, if I don’t pay taxes then it will be difficult for the country to pay salary to teachers, if teachers can’t get paid then they will not be dedicated to teaching, if they are not dedicated to teaching, then this will impact our nation’s future, if our nation’s future is impacted, then it will be difficult for China to advance and develop, and the Chinese people will degenerate into a barbaric race. If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, if our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, then the USA will start a war with China and World War III will erupt, if WWIII erupts, both the strengths of both the USA and China will not be enough, if their strengths are not enough then they will use nuclear weapons, if they use nuclear weapons then they will destroy the environment, if the environment is destroyed then this will create a big hole in the atmosphere, if there is a big hole in the atmosphere then global warming will escalate and the glaciers at both poles will melt, if the glaciers melt then the global water level will rise, if the global water level rises then the entire human race will drown and die. Because it relates to the survival and security of the entire human race, therefore I must spend the remaining next few days on review in order to do well on the test, and thus prevent a tragedy from happening.”
“Why the Fate of Humanity Rests on a Chinese Middle-Schooler’s Test Scores“ via the Atlantic
Aly Raisman saved the best for last
(Source: “Let’s Talk About Why Aly Raisman Won: A GIF Guide” from The Atlantic WIre)
I love that I don’t need to worry about hitting the replay button.
Gymnastics is one of those Olympics sports that lots of people watch every four years, meaning whatever happens during the competition is exciting and surprising but also confusing. Who are these women? Which one is the underdog? The veteran? Who is good at what thing? How can I tell when a flippy thing was good? Relax. Let the expert fans at The Atlantic Wire explain.
The Underdog: Gabby Douglas. Douglas is perfect for the underdog role — bubbly personality, amazing backstory. (She left her family in Virginia Beach to train in Iowa, and her father was deployed to Afghanistan last year.) Expect a lot of sappy NBC mini-bios scored with melodramatic piano music to focus on Douglas. (These are called fluffs on the gymternet.) Douglas only became a star in the last few months, and won the Olympic trials Sunday night.
What she’s good at: Douglas is technically strong on all the events, but she shines on bars. She’s most known for this, called a piked Tkachev, as seen in this image via the excellent Tumblr Gymnastics GIFs. It’s good because she gets such incredible height.
And she also pirouettes beautifully like this:
And when she won trials, she celebrated by doing the Dougie, via Aaron Meier:
U.S. decathlete Ashton Eaton celebrates as he clears 5.30 meters in the decathlon pole vault at the U.S. Olympic Athletics Trials in Eugene, Oregon June 23, 2012. Image by MIKE BLAKE / Reuters
From Buzzfeed’s “26 Photos of Olympics Hopefuls Realizing They’re Going to London“